Clean.

I remember how unworthy I felt 

and how heavy the nights could be.

And today as I unpacked my last box

and dug through pieces of my past

my heart went cold.

I placed that second ring on my middle finger

and so vividly thought of the girl who used to think

her future was doomed.

Just as one of the jewels is missing 

from that second ring

so was the love from our relationship.

You used me, I kept my mouth shut.

Two and a half years later.

Two men, two rings.

Both got down on their knees,

but oh what a difference there is when

someone actually loves you

and doesn't demand the worst parts of yourself.

If I could tell my past self one thing, it is this:

Be patient and hang on. 

I swear someone is going to love you more than you could ever imagine.

And he won't demand anything of you, but gooey grilled cheese sandwiches.