may 2, 2010

i miss the simple sound of your voice, whether on the phone or in person.
i miss your warm and inviting smile that could make me happy on the worst days.
i miss your crystal blue eyes that sparkled in the darkest rooms.
i miss seeing your name illuminate my phone screen.
i miss feeling a vibration in my pocket and knowing it was always you.
i miss talking to you about whatever.
i miss hearing your advice for my pitiful problems.
i miss playing the piano with you, even if i was horrible or made too many mistakes.
i miss the way your hands would shake with fear that i was watching you, when you wrote on my notebook.
i miss knowing that when the doorbell rang it was you.
i miss hugging you when i would open the door.
i miss having to pull your neck down and stand on my toes just to give you a decent hug.
i miss screaming your name in sheer excitement when you would show up when i didn't expect you.
i miss being able to call you and talk for hours just to get me to stop shaking.
i miss the rush of excitement i got seeing your car pull up right next to my house.
i miss the times you'd move my fingers around on my guitar because i was playing the wrong chord.
i miss your laugh.
i miss making you proud.
i miss having you tell me everything wrong with your life.
i miss the way you made me laugh when i didn't feel like living anymore.
i miss the way you said exactly what i needed to hear, when i never even asked.
i miss laughing with you at our pointless jokes that only we would understand.
i miss singing along with you to random songs that seemed to scream what i've always wanted to say to you.
i miss seeing you every week.
i miss being one of your favorite people.
i miss having you as one of my best friends.
i miss being able to be considered your friend.
i miss the texts you'd send me that would get me through my day, even though you never knew they had such an impact.
i miss knowing i'd see you again soon even after i said goodbye.
i miss seeing your face light up when i would sing for you.
i miss having you to run to whenever i needed you.
i miss talking about my random boy problems that you were always so eager to hear about.
i miss the way your voice would crack when you went too high.
i miss your facial expressions when you went high.
i miss talking about you to everyone i knew.
i miss the happiness you always brought to my soul.
i miss how you told me i was amazing, even when i knew i wasn't.
i miss our forever-long phone calls that were about nothing in-particular.
i miss the comfort you constantly gave me.
i miss having you reply when i talk to you, even if it wasn't what i wanted to hear.
i miss your contagious personality.
i miss the days you told me you were impressed with me, because now i know i have failed you..
i miss you.

[but i mean, it's not like you'll ever care. you don't even talk to me anymore...]