Sunday, July 10, 2011

i'm only a let down, time after time.

i feel exposed.
mocked, ridiculed, and ultimately destroyed.
maybe this is all i will amount to.
perhaps i am just another petty fool lost in this
endless sea of masked liars and indecisive, arrogant snobs.

i'm tired of fighting these endless battles that always make their way back
into my life. i feel hollow and worthless, as more and more
things remind me that i'll never be anything more than
this worthless soul that resides in such a pitiful body.
i'm nothing but a walking lie, silently
dancing beneath the shadows of clowns and jesters.

i want to give in, and dive head first into the endless ocean.
just pleading for the waves to capture my body and crash against my skin.
i want to feel the vibrant water slowly entering my body as it
quietly fills my lungs,
until my body becomes numb and i can no longer breathe.

so much hatred and pain constantly engulf my soul, and leave me
bitter and shallow.
just take me away from this pain.



  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. My dear, what happened? I'm sorry I was lost, but I found my way back to you. If only I could, I would swim there and save you... but I, too, do not know how to swim...

    I wish I can wrap you in a hug... say it will all be over soon... believe that you will believe me... but i don't know.

    (Oh my, i'm so sorry for this my friend. This is what happen if a broken person tried to give advise to another sad person. I'm so sorry.)

    Please stay strong. I love you endlessly.

  3. I'm so, so sorry you are feeling this way. I can't know what this is all about but I need to say these words which come from the very bottom of my scarred heart: it is so easy to do so, but never believe you are worthless. Never. Every human being has God-given worth that we (and others, often) fail to see. But it's there. Believe me, it is. And pain lessens with time, it truly does. (Though that may be cold comfort.)

    I hope your heart feels better soon. <3

  4. If I could hide you from this all, I would.
    I'd wrap you up in the softest purple.
    I'd whisper in your ear, tell you that it will be okay, that you're beautiful and mean the world to me. You are worthy of love, of happiness, of life. You just need to believe it. Take my hand and listen when I say, it will be okay in the end. <3


Though I may not reply to all of your comments, I read each and every one of them.
Your words mean so much to me.