Monday, August 29, 2011

keep my head from going down.

 i have never felt so completely alone.
 day by day, 
hoping, wishing, waiting, for some slight glimpse of hope to flash 
across my dirty, crooked window.
i sit silently, tracing my dreams along my bright blue walls. 
outlines of smiling people and unknown buildings. 
faces of people who would shelter my broken soul, and
keep me safe from all the evil things of the world.
i lose myself in a fantasy of warm hearts and music boxes. 
a room filled with welcoming arms, drenched in love,
just begging for a soul to save.
but the illusion is s h a t t e r e d , and i am here,
splattered all over a lopsided mattress.
the walls are dark, and the hearts are  ice cold.   
claws of hatred slowly t r i c k l e across the wall, and glide 
right into my room. 
i scream at the top of my lungs, begging for someone, anyone,
to burst through the door and tell me everything will be okay. 
but nobody ever comes; the only sound i hear are my cries, echoing off the walls.
i hold my pillow right next to my shaking heart, and pray for better days,
as i slowly fall off into a restless slumber. 
i will never reach that place that is painted on my bright blue walls.
love, if you can hear this sound,
give me something to believe in.



  1. Dear Ashley,

    I'm sorry your heart is heavy... I can't imagine the pain and loneliness you feel. You deserve to see happier days. I wish I could be a better friend to you, but I just don't know where to start...

    Maybe I don't have the right to say this, but... Things will be okay. Little by little, sunlight will fill your room, and love will fill your heart. And maybe it will all be worth it in the end... only time will tell.

    Love you, dear best friend, and I'm praying for your happiness, always. <3

  2. Oh, love.
    You're too beautiful for this sadness.
    You'll overcome it, I know; but in the mean time, know that you have my love.


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