Saturday, August 28, 2010

everybody says, that time heals everything.

i never really knew that perfect days could exist. or even lately, i didn't know a good or great day could exist. but yesterday was perfect, in every single way.

i came home and slammed my tired body onto the couch. the week had been so overwhelming and crazy, it almost hurt just to think about it. i turned on a soppy romantic movie and become best friends with a pillow and fuzzy blanket. within an hour, i had to get up and get ready for my evening. i finally dragged my lazy body off the couch and opened the door when my friend arrived at 4. i knew that the best part of my day would be within the next few hours. i just didn't know it would be so incredibly amazing.

we talked for at least two hours about our lives, but mainly school. there is no therapist or counseling out there that could help me more than she can. everytime i talk to her, i always find myself feeling so much better. even if i just scream and let everything out. just having her there as firm friend brings so much comfort to my troubled soul.

clouds painted the sky a dark shade of grey above our heads. then the rain started to silently fall in the background. loud bursts of thunder echoed throughout the mountains and an unusual happiness filled my soul. my friend walked out onto the front lawn, and began dancing around. i decided to join her. as i stepped onto the warm pavement covered by freezing cold rain, my soul was filled with an un-deniable happiness that vibrated through the bones in my body, and left a warm feeling inside of my heart. the pouring rain continued to fall as we danced around, forgetting all of our troubles. nothing seemed to matter anymore. it was as if each individual raindrop washed away our sorrows, one by one...

then we continued on into the night. while our plans may have been altered, the night was only going to get better. our other friend joined us, and we all went off to go eat pizza. as we drove along, the rain continued to fall on the windshield. each raindrop seemed to fall perfectly on the windshield, and made everything seem better. i heard the low rumble of music in the background, and the two voices of my best friends. suddenly i was not on the earth. i was in heaven. everything was perfect. if i had to, i could've done that for the rest of my life. just sat in the car in the pouring rain, listening to music, and talking with my two best friends who i trust more than i trust myself, or anyone else.

we sat and laughed while anxiously awaiting our food. once we were done there, we went to go watch a movie. when we pulled up to my friend's house, she ran inside to get the movie we wanted to watch. as she left, you started talking to me. you mentioned how she was so funny, and really nice. i agreed, and said she had always been that way. i told you that she didn't care what people thought about her, and that was another thing that made her so fun to be around, because she wasn't constantly trying to be absolutely perfect, even though she is absolutely perfect. you said that was a very good quality in a person. i agreed and went on about how i wish i was that way... and then you told me i never had to worry about that with you. suddenly i was overcome with a feeling of peace and comfort. i never tried to impress you before, or get your attention. although, i never did feel good enough for you. but, you just told me not to worry about anything... i silently smiled to myself and simply said, "good." because i was at a loss for words. as my friend got back into the car, we drove on, to our final location of the night.

we talked about random things, but one thing you pointed out was a very modern-looking house that we both were in love with. you commented on how you wanted to build a house like that someday when you were a rich and amazing doctor. my stomach dropped into my toes as you said that. i quickly told you, "you better not forget about me when you become a rich and amazing doctor. you better still talk to me." i didn't even want to think about not being able to talk to you. i was suddenly struck with fear. what if that did happen? what if after high school we part, and i never hear from you again? what if you forget all the amazing times we've had in just the past year...? but you quickly replied, assuring me that that would never happen, and you'll always talk to me. no matter what.

and that's when it hit me. that un-deniable truth that's been staring me in the face for so long. but i can't admit it here. only to myself.

we finally arrived at your house and watched our movie. when it was over, you asked me what was going on with my life. i went from one thing to another, and found myself pouring out my entire soul to you. i felt bad, because i was keeping both you, and my friend up. and i didn't want to bore either of you. but it felt so good to finally get it off my chest... i couldn't stop. combined with all the previous happiness, i was floating on a cloud. you listened intently, and gave me sincere advice that i did take to heart. you conituned to ask me questions about various problems and topics i brought up. and between the questions and advice, i could see how much you truly care about me, and it made me more happy than anything has for a very long time.

we drove back to each of our house's so we could finally go to bed. first, we headed towards mine. as we talked, we talked about our lives and what was really going on, underneath the masks we put on for people around us. listening to both of my best friends, my heart sunk. i didn't know they were both going through so much. especially my friend. she said many things that i was completely clueless, and it made my heart ache. i wished that i would've been more helpful and checked up on her more often than i do... but nontheless, between all this family drama and sadness we discussed, i saw what truly amazing people these two people in the car with me were. i don't know why they're in my life, and not someone else's. i don't deserve them, and i honestly mean that. they are two of the most amazing people i have ever met in my entire life, and i know they'll never let me down. they understand me better than anyone out there. whenever i'm with them, i feel invincible. like i could go run five marathons in a row, and be just fine. but most of all... they make me feel happy, and bring my soul so much relief, it's hard to even describe. they're two angels sent to me. and without them, i would not be here right now.

once i arrived back in my own room i quickly texted you before falling into a deep, and much-needed, sleep. i told you how truly amazing you are, because you are. and i wanted you to know. you replied back thanking me, and then you completely threw me off. you mentioned that i was perfect. i contemplated what you said. for at least five minutes. i replied asking if you had the wrong person, and saying i was the farthest thing from perfect... your simple reply was, "well. close enough. for me, at least." and then i felt a smile slowly crawl across my face.

who knew that so many amazing things could happen in one day, with such amazing people.

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