Friday, September 24, 2010

and now i wait for a break in the silence, because that's all that you left.

Dear Friend,

I’m tired of this. I’m tired of waking up every single day knowing that you can’t stand to even hear my name. I’m tired of seeing people and things that remind me of you. I’m tired of not hearing from you at all. I’m tired of trying to let go of you, and I’m so very tired of missing you. I miss every little thing about you. Your beautiful eyes, your infectious smile, the warm happiness of your laugh, the hugs you give, and even your tiny blue car. What happened, friend? Why did you suddenly vanish from my life? It seems just yesterday we were best friends who cared more for each other than I thought was possible. We couldn’t go a day without at least texting each other, and always ran to one another in time of need. So where are you now, friend? It’s been at least 7 months since I’ve heard from you last. I’ve tried just about every single thing in my ability to at least get you to simply reply to my text messages, or just say hi. It seems so absurd to destroy our friendship in this way, and at such a fast pace. I’ve known you since I was 5. Am I really that bad, friend? Are you really willing to give up 10 years of friendship, just for the lifestyle you’ve chosen? I thought we shared something so unique and strong that nobody could tear down. As usual, you’ve proved me wrong and now you’ve completely walked away. You’ve left me here with all the memories, because you don’t want absolutely anything to remind you of me. You’ve left me here in this room that mocks every thought I have of you. The walls scream at me and laugh at my sheer stupidity at letting you get away from me. I thought you cared about me, friend. You always told me you did. You told me you weren’t ever leaving and that you’d always be there when I needed you. Well listen to me now, friend. I need you. Probably more than I ever have before. These past few months have almost been completely unbearable, and I feel as if I have no one to run to. Each day turns into a new struggle, and you’re never there to run to. You were one of the only ones I trusted, friend. Now you’re gone and I’m sure you’ve forgotten everything that deals with me. I hope someday we’ll cross paths again, and you won’t turn away or run at the very sight of me. I hope someday you’ll return to me, and get me through another day. But, I know you never will. I’m only fooling myself.

Please, friend… come back soon.

I love you.

Love, Me.

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