Tuesday, October 19, 2010

i'm still learning how to love you; you are the only one that's worth the fight.

i like you, but only a little bit...
...and a little bit more each and every day.

but i don't want to tell you. no, i physically can't tell you.
it would ruin everything.
i can't handle loosing you. not now, or ever.
and to be completely honest, our friendship just isn't worth the risk.

but... i'd be lying if i told you i didn't ever think about you, because i do. almost every single second. your image always flashes through my brain, and it brings a smile to my face. your meaningful words constantly run through my mind, and then i silently daydream of how things would be if i had you here beside me. i fantasize about your warm embrace, and i dream of looking into your deep green eyes. my heart begins to ache and, screams at me to accept the reality that's staring me right in the face. and before i know it, i've completely lost myself in thought..

people don't even like the thought of me merely talking to you, nonetheless liking you. it fills my soul with terror, and makes me think twice about my decision. but, they don't know you like i know you. and i know you better than most. i trust you better than most. and the way you talk to me is just so inviting. at times i have to question if you have similar feelings that match mine, but even i know that's just wishful thinking. but there's no rule that says i can't wish and dream that someday we could become something spectacular.. so i've learned to ignore their constant comments, and follow my heart.

for once, this feels like a good choice. i feel like i'm truly and sincerely following my heart, and my feelings. no one's pushed me into this, and no one is going to be able to talk me out of it either. i've never felt this strong ache in my heart to be with anyone, as strongly as i do with you. with each passing day, i can gradually feel myself falling. falling for you more and more. falling for every word you say that shoots right into my heart, and leaves me with a smile upon my face. maybe it will all be worthless someday, and maybe these feelings will remain forever, locked up inside of my heart... or maybe it will blossom into something that could be unbreakable, and beautiful. the likelihood of it turning out how i hope for it to be, isn't good, but for now i can loose myself in these constant dreams where you appear, and you feel the exact same way... where it's just you and me. feeling the same way. and nothing else matters.

...no, nevermind.
i love you.

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