"...that was when the love first sparked."
i looked at my brother in shock, and tried to find the right words to say.
"no, i actually couldn't stand him as a child, remember?"
i looked over to my mother for re-assurance as she swallowed her water and nodded her head accordingly.
"i would always mock her and tell her she should marry him. he was so perfect..."
my heart sunk into my shoes, knowing absolutely nothing had changed. only his mind, and his goals in life. he was still the same person i would love with every fiber of my being until i stopped breathing. he was still perfect.
it was all i could seem to choke out.
my mom sat staring aimlessly into the illuminated kitchen and seemed to be lost in her own thoughts.
"he was just so good to you. i remember seeing him walking you to the car almost everyday, holding your hand.. with your brother six paces ahead."
everyone laughed in agreement as my blood turned to ice.
i felt my heart completely stop for a good ten seconds, and i couldn't seem to locate oxygen i needed to fill my lungs and keep me breathing.
i sat and stared at the clock as i heard the harsh laughter rumbling in the background of my thoughts.
i looked over at my mom with a clueless expression upon my face.
"... you mean... he held my hand...? every day...?"
my mom looked at me as if something was completely wrong.
i simply gasped out, "oh."
suddenly my head was spinning and i didn't know where i was.
"he always cared about you more than your own brother. he was always so loving towards you, and would do anything to see that cute little smile on your face."
i choked back tears, and tried to hold my emotions inside of me.
"really?" i replied almost breathlessly.
suddenly she could see the water building up in the side of my eyes, and her happy expression slowly melted into a concerned one.
"i shouldn't have said anything.."
i said nothing, and let my mind wander as i sat and watched the clock change numbers every minute.
my brother unexpectedly came up from behind me, and clenched me up against him.
i begged for him to let me go as his arms wrapped around my waist.
he pulled me into the other room and silently whispered into my ear,
"it's not your fault..."
i miss you.
won't you please just come back?
i can't take this constant pain anymore.
you cared for me once... more than almost anyone i knew.
we were best friends.