Sunday, November 14, 2010

blow the candles out; i'm beginning to see the light.

when you light a candle, the light is only being shed on the small area surrounding the candle. everything else is just darkness. you have to physically pick it up and move it around to see what else is around you...

it seems like lately, i've become so obsessed with the familiar ground around me. i've forced myself into thinking that i was happy with how things were, but haven't let myself explore anything surrounding me. i've tricked myself into thinking you're the only thing that can make me happy anymore. i convinced myself that you're what i want and need, and someone that i sincerely love. but as it turns out,
that's the farthest thing from true...

sure, you're charming. and, you did make me happy almost every single day. but underneath it all... you're still the same shallow and cold-hearted person i knew back in middle school. you may have changed in some aspects, but in others, you're completely the same... you're inconsiderate, and you don't think before you speak. and then you throw it back at me, and get mad at me for not talking to you. well pardon me sir, but i don't want to talk to you if all you're going to do is tell me how wonderful things are without me, and then kick me to the curb.

but still, somewhere deep inside me... i was too afraid to let you go.

i never wanted our friendship to tumble down and break apart.. you were one of my best friends. but, i can't just focus on your happiness anymore. i have to work on myself, and fix all my broken parts. i thought it would hurt immensely to walk away from you, and put all my feelings behind me...but surprisingly... i'm doing just fine, and walking away may have been one of the best decisions i've made in a long time. suddenly, i'm seeing everything in a new perspective...

i feel as if i've gotten a fresh start, and suddenly everything is so much more pleasant. i'm happier than i've been in months, and i'm not afraid to take a risk, or learn by faith. i've discovered new people, and new ideas. my mind is open and free...
and for once, i don't miss you.
and i certainly don't love you anymore.

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