i can't keep up with your turning tables...

breathe in deep, and s l o w; out and in.
it still hurts.
when will the healing begin?

save me.
take away this darkening pain.
drive the menacing demons straight
out of my tortured soul,
and make my heart feel whole again.

can't you see these gaping wounds,
that line my soul?
can't you feel how my heart
has silently turned cold?

i hide it so well
behinds lies and fake smiles.
i laugh and joke,
while my soul simply mocks me;
i am such a coward to believe
something could actually
help me.

where were you
that ice cold night, when
all i needed was a small
amount of hope?
you weren't there to help me
with all of this loss, and never
taught me how to cope.

tell me things will
be okay, when i grow old.
show me how to forget,
and live without all of these deep
regrets.
hold me close, and
don't let go.
show me what it's like
to live without fear,
and gently wipe away my tears.

stop taking pills
and intoxicating your mind.
don't you see the damage
you've done?
we're all s h a t t e r e d and broken
due to your careless acts,
and at the rate you're going,
things will never go back to normal.

surely you must know,
d
e
e
p
down inside,
that you have to swallow your pride,
before it swallows your
heart and mind whole.
don't feed me lies;
you're only igniting the
addiction.

where do i turn now,
with my head up in the clouds?
not a single person to lean on,
or a father to run to,
as i'm secretly going through
hell.

i have myself, and it seems
that is all.
day by day i simply
watch myself
f
a
l
l,
further and further throughout
the endless sky.
what's the use in trying
to save such a worthless heart?

i can't handle this
much longer.
engulf me with lies, if that's what it takes;
at least it will subside the pain
momentarily.
tell me that someday, i will find a home
i can actually feel comfortable in.
tell me that i'll have a place to call my own,
with no anchors to weigh me down.
tell me someone will care, and show me
how to repair all of my broken down parts.
tell me i don't have to be scared,
and that someone out there cares.
tell me that i can learn to love again,
despite all the hatred that flows throughout
my ears daily.

but most of all,

just tell me i won't always feel so alone.