Sunday, March 6, 2011

maybe you're going to be the one who saves me.

In a fallacious world full of power-hungry robots, foul minds, and bitter words that s p r e a d like wildfire, it seems impossible to obtain any of the goodness that our society scarcely possesses.

Day by day, I s l o w l y inhale the whispered lies and false rumors that loom within the air around me. People tend to assume that I am immune to the truth, while I can’t even lie about something simple and meaningless that most people could lie about flawlessly. It seems that I have actually become immune to happiness. for years on end. The wicked claws of terror have had their grip on me, and refuse to let go.

Lately though, it seems that one simple soul has baffled these terrible claws, and broken through the thick layer of malevolence that surrounds me constantly. He stumbled into my life with gentle words and comforting smiles, as his soul radiated with beauty.

He shimmers like a million tiny diamonds as rays of sun dance on his skin. His eyes posses a deep and rich beauty that could cause any foolish woman to drop to her knees. The intelligence that resides within his sublime mind far exceeds the knowledge of anyone I’ve ever known. The smile that fills his face from time to time is remarkable and leaves me speechless every single time. I could sit there for days on end just silently taking in all of his beauty, without ever letting boredom seep into my mind.

Unfortunately, he hides all of his extravagant talents behind immature actions and irrelevant comments that drive everyone insane. But at the same time, it makes it even more miraculous and spectacular that he possesses so many amazing qualities, to me. Yes, I used to be one of the careless minds that just saw him as another annoying person, but he has caught my attention and left me awe-struck.

As a result, I’m left here to sit and daydream of what could be, or what friendship could blossom out of this extraordinary event.

Do I sit and watch him slowly pass me by?

Do I spend the rest of my life wondering what happiness I could have had?

Do I stare aimlessly at his perfection as I slowly rot in the corner?

Or should I get up and try to get his attention while silently pleading for his friendship?

You tell me.

oh, dear me.
i posted this onto my english blog.
that's where i first began talking with him.
i'm terrified that he's going to know that it's about him.
he comments on every single one of my posts, and i know he pays very close attention to them.
he's so intelligent that he probably already knows how much i adore him, and this will come as no surprise to him.
but oddly enough... i really don't care at the moment.
i had too much fun writing it.
i could write about him for days on end, and never run out of things to say.



  1. Oh, Ashley. Such beautiful words, such honesty, such admiration for this man. This post was just so intriguing, so well-written, so open-minded... I don't know where to start. Everything you say about him is just so special and wonderful. Only you could see so much talent and beauty in a person and embrace it. It's no average affection. It's so much deeper. It's hard not to love someone when he's all you ever think about. You love him for all that he is. :)

    I think it's good that you posted it on your English blog. It's both exciting and scary to imagine what he'll think or what he'll say when he reads it. Maybe he won't think its him, and he'll wonder who it is and be a little jealous that you're giving this mystery-guy so much praise. Maybe he'll think its him but be unsure, so he won't leave a comment at all because he won't know what to say. Or maybe he will know its him, and he'll think of something silly to write as a comment, like a joke about how such a guy could possibly exist.

    Whatever he says, whatever he thinks, I think its good that you posted it there. It's a breath of fresh air, a word of truth, a step forward.

    This could really turn into something amazing. Maybe he really has been sent to you as a candle to light your way in the dark. I'm starting to believe it myself. :)

    One little step at a time. Do what feels right. Keep going. :)

    "Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever." :)


  2. oh, my sweet Ashley, how can i not come back and read and comment? your beautiful words fill my day with so much loveliness... i can already picture you smiling so sweetly, so contagious and heartwarming... i'm happy for you. i'm happy that you are feeling this way. i'm happy for all the happiness that's coming your way!


Though I may not reply to all of your comments, I read each and every one of them.
Your words mean so much to me.