Monday, April 25, 2011

we can get around this mess.

my body draped over the dark navy blue leather couch as sleep silently crept into my soul and knocked me unconscious. i held a pillow tight and close to my body, and a blanket quietly laid on top of my body, swallowing my entire figure. i finally woke up as i frantically darted out the door to go on my daily run.
the sun was beating down on the dark gray pavement, and it filled my soul with delight.
as i headed out the door, pitch black clouds engulfed the sky and hovered directly above my neighborhood.
the sun was still shining further south, and was begging to shine throughout my neighborhood. but the clouds continued to roll in, as i quietly set off running, one foot after another.
i watched my legs, as they slowly turned pink due to the chill dancing silently in the spring air.
for once, it didn't bother me that they weren't the size of toothpicks.
i was telling myself positive things, instead of ripping my entire soul apart in a matter of 20 minutes.
where was this coming from?
i continued running, having no desire to stop.
the low rumble of thunder shook the skies, as hail began pounding against every inch of my body.
ow, ow, ow.
i slowed to a fast paced walk and slowly observed the white pieces abruptly falling from the sky and crashing against the pale white sidewalk. soon rain began falling from every direction, as the wind began to howl.
i was suddenly overwhelmed with happiness as i almost began laughing at the darkening clouds, and pounding mixture of hail and rain.
you think you can stop me from running?
i began to run faster, as my dark black hood flew off of my head.
i was confused and almost shocked at this unseen confidence that had somehow crept into my soul.
but oddly enough, i didn't push it away this time.
i kept smiling and running, as my music quietly hummed in the background.
as i neared my home, the sky turned a grayish-orange. the wind picked up and the rain seemed to fall faster and harder, as i began running faster and faster. i couldn't just give up now. the sun was glowing from behind the clouds, as it continued to pour rain. it filled me with hope, and i continued to press forward. i neared my home and found myself happier than ever.

if my life could be summed up in a day, it would have been today.
dark clouds have taken my soul and captured my heart, while the sunshine slowly sat in the background, just waiting for me to embrace it, or even acknowledge its presence.
i have had multiple storms that have tested my strength and endurance, both emotionally and physically.
each day it seemed the rain poured harder, and the wind would nearly take me away.

but without fail, the sun will always shine.
things will get better.
and i don't have to hate myself, or hate my life.
life is such a beautiful, delicate thing.
and so are we.
just beautiful little souls trying to run as far from the darkening claws of terror.
we can't just give in and stop running.
the reward is so much better.
someday, the storm will pass.
someday we will be healed.
someday we will see all of the beautiful little things in life,
and forget the repulsive and evil ones.
someday, we will all be happy, and mock the clouds for
thinking they could stop us.
someday, everything will be okay.
and the sun will shine brighter than before.

today, if only for a moment,
i love myself.
and i love my life.



  1. and i love you :)

    without knowing, Ashley, you definitely cheered me up.

  2. Oh my goodness, this was so beautiful! I felt like I was there when you were describing the running and the end filled me with such hope. (Which is something I seem to have a depressingly short supply of these days.)

    I'm glad that in you finding my blog, I was able to find yours. :)

  3. Aw, my beautiful ashley! i wish that too, that we live in the same place. love you too, girl. stay smiling.

  4. You are lovely.
    So lovely.
    I was sitting on the edge of my seat, running with you, clawing at your hope.
    I need to find my own. It's there somewhere isn't?
    Just waiting for me to notice it.
    I'll try very hard, I promise xx

  5. I had no idea you were such a gifted and passionate writer! It is beautiful. You are beautiful, inside and out. And you make me happy.

  6. my darling Ashley, i can't remember if i already told you, but i added you to my list of feathers... :) take care, dove.

  7. This is so incredibly beautiful... and makes me happier than anything. This whole post shouts the word hope. These words, spoken by you, are so strong, and so wonderful. I shed tears. Take care, my dear. You're so amazing. :)



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