i'm still loving ghosts.

i toss and turn, every single night, just begging for my body to be calm,

 but it never happens. 

i run for endless hours over miles of un-even pavement, sweating, panting, choking;

i eat small amounts, s k i p  a meal here and there,

but i'll never be skinny.

i pile hair products all over my stingy hair, and smear make-up all over my barbaric face,

but i'm never pretty.

i jump up and down, using every ounce of energy i have to kiss the stars, 

but i always trip over my uncoordinated feet.

i try over and over to fix my broken parts, and turn myself into something admirable,

but nobody would ever notice.

i scream at the top of my lungs for a better tomorrow, with tears pouring down my swollen face,

but no one can hear me.

i try to be sincere and caring, just aching to keep a friendship alive,

but everyone continues to leave. 

i try so hard to please every single soul i come in contact with,

but nobody is ever pleased.

i'm fed up with trying. 

xx